Gerch-Verse | Meet the Fam

CEO of Gerchan Farms and inventor of the milk-slap™. Mumbai accent, navy Nehru suit, orbital gulag on speed-dial.

“Insolent cow!”

Founder of Ionix Labs, promising to spot diseases one drop early—ideally before your bank account is empty.

“We detect what isn’t there... yet.”

Celestial cow deity whose golden udders once nourished planets. Currently imprisoned for infinite milk output.

*muffled cosmic moo of despair*

Executive assistant by day, absolute nightmare by 6 PM. Mumbai-accented menace after hours.

“Sir, your 7 PM debauchery is confirmed.”

Butler façade straight out of Gotham, rating himself a solid “seven” once the tails come off.

“Very good, sir—shall I warm the bail money?”

Attorney who bills in riddles. Every opening statement starts with “Riddle me this.”

“Riddle me this: who pays the milk-slapped piper?”

Larger-than-life cattle speculator with a Texas drawl and a portfolio no one can audit.

“Everything’s bigger in Texas—especially the liabilities.”